Saturday, September 14, 2013
Now for the explanation for any of you that may be confused. Growing up I always knew I was romantically and physically attracted to woman, but as most of you know I was also raised in a very religious household. Due to the way I was raised I pushed down those feelings as far as I could because I thought there was no way that was the right way to feel and I felt like I would never be loved if I chose to feel that way. Like many in my position I was scared and confused.
However that didn't change my desire for love and affection so I dove into relationship after relationship all failing drastically because I always felt like something was missing and so I would do something to screw it up and move on to the next one no time flat. In doing so i made many mistakes and hurt many people and most of all I hurt myself.
Now still heavily believing in God and in doing so I thought I had to believe the way I felt was wrong I decided that maybe the right thing to do was not date at all and spend time getting to know myself and christ but what I have discovered was not what I thought Id find at all. I found that the only way I am truly going to be happy with myself and not be lonely was to be honest. I have always prided myself on my honesty but I have buried my true self for years out of fear, and I just can't do that any longer. This may not be a shock to most of you, but it will come to a shock to some and even a heart break to others. All I ask is that you continue to love me because I am the same girl you've always known, and if you can't love me now…then you never really did.
So here is to a fresh start of me being my complete self. I will love whoever it is that I fall in love with, and I am determined to be happy.